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Conflicts make your heroine/hero stronger.

Diana here:

Conflict when it doesn’t involve you can be fun and face a bit cathartic when your emotions go into your characters.

Character conflicts range in every scene from small to impossible. Whatever you chose the problem needs to make your character wince, cry or pick up a weapon has to be reasonable for your character.

Let’s backtrack for a moment and explain conflicts. The best conflicts are when your heroine/hero has two desirable/undesirable choices and must pick one devastating (at the moment) choice.

I’ve been using Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock as my example so I’ll continue with her. Gracie Hart has small conflicts she must choose to let other women get close to her (friendship) or continue in her normal I’m all I need mode. Her larger conflict is possibly losing her job with the FBI by refusing to set down when she knows her new friends are in jeopardy or going her old way which would be following orders. Tough choices for her to maker. I suggest watching this movie and taking notes of the goals, motivations and conflicts of Gracie Hart.

What can we do to our pretend heroine today? Let’s get mean, shall we?
Carrie has chosen to follow her goal of being a singer, she’s motivated by a desire to please her father who thinks she is the next Adele.

PROBLEM (conflict) Carrie has a voice lesson but is invited to go on her dream date with her dream guy, the one she wants to marry and have children with.
What will she do?

Cancel and reschedule? Of course, but then she discovers if she does the voice coach (one who feels dedication is everything) tells her she can’t come back and the thousand dollars her father paid for the lesson is nonrefundable. Tough choice for her, what will she do?

Let’s make it harder. The guy is leaving for a tour in the Army and won’t be back for six months. She suggests they meet after the lesson, but he can’t because he was told to report to the base earlier.

No problem, they can go before the lesson, right? They make the arrangements, she will meet him and then go to her lesson, and all will be amazing.
Except when she takes an Uber car to meet him, the tire goes flat and the driver doesn’t know how to change it. They have to wait for AAA and now, she is back to the original conflict. Should she skip her lesson and take the consequences or meet her dream guy?

I don’t know about you but I’m glad that’s not me. Pass the anti-acids, please.

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