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Rhetorical Devices: Adding Emotion and Upping the Tension

Liz here:

Last week, Jen did an amazing job of explaining why writers should use rhetorical devices in their writing. The proper use of these devices takes your writing to the next level. It shows your maturity as an author. And I'd like to second her recommendation of Margie Lawson's courses. They are fabulous. And not at all expensive. 

I'm going to start this week off with one device that's probably very familiar to all writers: metaphor.This is the art of comparing two different things by asserting that one thing is the other or has properties of the other. And I call it an art, because that's what it is. There is a right way and a wrong way to use metaphor. The wrong way is to use too many metaphors. That gets tedious and tiresome for the reader and takes away the impact of the rhetorical device. That goes for all rhetorical devices. Don't overuse them.

When you do use metaphors or similes (the same thing but using like or as to compare the two things), tie the comparison into the story. Make it have some meaning. In my WIP, A Simple Heart, which is an Amish romance, Elam is frustrated talking to someone who doesn't want to speak to him. 

It was like talking to a horse. 

I first went for the cliche brick wall, but by using the horse, I'm tying it into the genre and the story. (Because I used like, that was a simile.) 

Here's an example of a metaphor, also from the same WIP. 

Naomi stepped into the cemetery, the branches of the large oaks overhanging the place, creating a ceiling, their red and yellow and orange leaves the stained-glass windows of a cathedral. 

Notice that this never uses the word like or as, but it's comparing the oaks and how they shade the grounds to a cathedral. And it makes sense in an Amish romance, because of the simplicity of what they would consider a holy place. And, like Jen suggested, I used multiple devices, both metaphor and polysyndeton (the use of many conjunctions).

Another device is an epistrophe. This is the ending of successive clauses with the same word. This is similar to anaphora, which is the repeating of a word at the beginning of sentences. Word repetition is a very powerful tool for emphasis. It really heightens the emotion in a story. 

Doug had bought her that necklace. On their wedding night, he gave her that necklace. And now, she had lost that necklace. 

The repetition of the phrase "that necklace" drives home the point that it was very important to her. And you can imagine the next line indicating how frantic she is now that it's gone. It amps up the tension in the story. 

Another device that utilizes repetition is amplification. This is the repeating of a word or phrase and adding more detail in order to emphasize a point. 

This was the house. The house where Frannie died. The house where she struggled with her attacker. And lost the battle. 

Each of the first three sentences uses the word "the house", but adds more detail. The last sentence there is what Margie Lawson would call a button. It's a short sentence, usually at the end of a scene or chapter, that really packs a punch. The amplification heightens the tension, each time revealing a little more about the house and what happened inside of it. And the last sentence hits you in the gut. 

Whenever you find that your writing feels flat or uninteresting, it might be because you need to use some rhetorical devices to "amplify" your work. Play around with them. At first, you might have to think about using them, but they will become second nature the more you use them.

Rhetorical Devices: Finishing Touches to Make Your Writing Sing

Jen here:

Mark Twain is famous for this quote about writing: "Anybody can have ideas--the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph."

We often think that in longer works such as novels that we don’t necessarily have to worry about the succinctness or tightness of our writing. We have a large word count to work with. And yet, even in a novel, tight writing can create a better craft, can create art. Rhetorical devices can help your writing pack a punch with fewer words. These techniques have stood the test of time because they work on a psychological level for your readers.

Once you get the framework of your story down, it’s time to add the decorative touches that make your writing sing. These are devices that amplify emotion, carry a weight of meaning. These work not only for fiction but nonfiction as well. In fact, using creative writing techniques in nonfiction will help bring it to life and keep it from sounding boring and flat.

For all of us Pencildancers, we love Margie Lawson’s classes on adding these finishing touches to your writing. She has a great system for going through your WIP and highlighting different sections to work on. It’s called Deep Editing. We all would highly recommend her course.

At the end, I’ll list all the rhetorical devices. I’m sure you can Google them and discover more. But there is no need to memorize them or use all of them in your work. Develop a handful, like your favorite tools, that you use skillfully in your work.

Diana talked about three last week : allusion, conduplicatio, and epizeuxis. I’m going to discuss four more: anaphora, asyndeton, polysyndeton, and understatement.


Repeating a word or phrase at the beginning of three or four successive clauses or sentences. Sometimes there is a fourth repetition later, usually as the last line or a stand-alone sentence in its own paragraph.

I’m going to be trying out these devices for my WIP, tentatively titled Promise Me, releasing May 2017. Let’s see how this first one works.

“Promise me you won’t forget to check on the cake.” Grandma bent over to look Cait in the eye.
Cait nodded.
Grandma gave her a small smile and grasped Cait’s chin. “Promise me you’ll read your Bible every day. Promise me you’ll check on the garden, even in the winter. Promise me you’ll teach someone else all that I’ve taught you.”
Cait nodded. “I promise.” She’d do whatever Grandma said. She knew so much. But why was she being so serious today?

The repetition creates a rhythm. And when something is repeated, we pay attention, we know it’s important. It pulls out the emotion. We know there is a reason Grandma wants Cait to make those promises. There is something serious and important going on here.


Omitting conjunctions between words and phrases in a list of three or more.

Cait had her routine. Every morning, steaming cup of tea in hand, she stepped into the garden behind her renovation-in-process farmhouse. Walking between the raised beds, she touched the leaves, felt the soil, gauged their growth, looked for pests. She could nearly do it in her sleep.

It’s a subtle difference, but the lack of the pause the conjunction gives us deepens the emotion. In this case, we get the sense of habit, routine, almost ritual like (see what I did there?). It’s an easy device to use. Most likely you already do.


This is almost the opposite of the device above. The “a” in Greek means without. Here we have “poly” which means many. So as you might guess, instead of having no conjunctions, you would have many. You probably already use this one as well.

Cait looked out over the strawberry fields, emerald rows and rows and rows stretching back to the foothills.

Again, we get the rhythm and repetition that tells our brain to sit up and notice. Something important is happening here.


Shares an idea in a way that makes is sound less important than it is.

Grayson stepped into his office. A pile of papers had grown on his desk overnight, thanks to his too-efficient admin. He flipped through them. Contracts, legal descriptions, owners’ rolls. He peered into the mug he held.
He was going to need more coffee.

It often works great as a stand-alone sentence in a paragraph. Or the ending chapter/scene hook.

Combining Devices

Think about how each of these examples above (or in your own writing) might be punched up even more if combined with alliteration or onomatopoeia. You have rhythm from repetition and then adding sounds to that can pack a punch. Instead of “emerald rows,” I could have written “rippling rows.” I could have had Cait “touched the leaves, tap the soil, gauged their growth, grasp (ick!) for pests.” It adds another layer.

Have fun with these. See where you can use them in your work. If you have a scene that’s not working, try some of these out to see if you can pack that extra punch!

  1. Alliteration -- repeating initial consonant sounds. They may be juxtaposed, adjacent to each other, or they may be spread out in a sentence or across several sentences.
  2.  Allusion -- a quick reference to a famous person or event.
  3.  Amplification -- repeating a word or phrase and adding more detail in order to emphasize a point. 
  4.  Anadiplosis –- repeating the last word of one sentence at the beginning of the next sentence, or very near the beginning of the next sentence.
  5.  Analogy -- comparing two things that are alike in several ways. 
  6.  Anaphora –- repeating a word or phrase at beginning of three (or four) successive phrases or sentences.
  7.  Antithesis -- contrasting two ideas, often juxtaposing them in a parallel structure.
  8.  Asyndeton –- omitting conjunctions between words and phrases in a list of three or more.  
  9.  Conduplicatio -- starting a sentence with a keyword from a previous sentence. Think duplicate word.
  10.  Epistrophe -- the counterpart to anaphora. Repeating the last word or final phrase in three (or four) subsequent phrases or sentences.
  11.  Epizeuxis -- the repetition of a word for emphasis.
  12.  Eponym -- referring to a famous person who is recognized for an attribute and substituting their name for that attribute--not mentioning the attribute, as in, “He’s such an Einstein.”
  13.  Hyperbole -- a deliberate exaggeration.
  14.  Hypophora -- similar to a rhetorical question—only the question is answered.  Usually, the explanation is lengthy.
  15.  Litote -- a form of understatement where the words deny the opposite of the word expected to be used. It frequently uses the word NOT.
  16.  Metabasis –- a quick summary, a brief statement, of what has happened and what will happen.  A transitional summary. 
  17.  Metaphor -- comparing two different things by asserting that one thing is the other or has properties of the other. 
  18.  Onomatopoeia -- using words that imitate the sound the word describes.
  19.  Oxymoron -- a two-word paradox.  An ironic contrast.
  20.  Parallelism -- refers to recurrent syntactical similarity.  Parts of sentences are parallel in structure.
  21.  Personification -- metaphorically attributing animal or inanimate objects with human attributes.  
  22.  Polysyndeton -- using a conjunction (usually AND or OR) between a series of words in a list of three or more. Think many conjunctions. 
  23.  Rhetorical Question -- raising a question that is not answered. 
  24.  Simile -- comparing two different things that resemble each other.  LIKE and AS usually introduce similes. 
  25.  Symploce -- using ANAPHORA and EPISTROPHE in the same sentence. 
  26.  Understatement -- sharing an idea as less important than it is.

Rhetorical Devices in Writing

Good writing contains rhetorical devices. You probably already use them but may not know what they are called or even how many there are. 

In fiction, there are 27 rhetorical devices that authors can pick through to make their writing stand out. 
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Here are three to try out in your own work.

Conduplicatio--big word for saying start a sentence with a strong word from the previous sentence.

Examples are from Mind of Her Own by Diana Lesire Brandmeyer

Example of conduplicatio:
Collin sank down in the chair next to Louisa's bed. She looked paler than his daughter's collectible porcelain dolls. "You don't remember us?"

"Remember you? No. I've never met you."

Why this works--Lousia has amnesia so the repeating of the word remember adds a subtle hint without re-stating the fact.

Epizeuxis--repeating a word for emphasis

Example of epizeuxis:

"How many kids are there?"
"Just the three," he said.
"Three? Just three? Do you--we--have a nanny?" She rubbed the side of her face with her palm.

Why this works:  Louisa doesn't remember having any kids and now she finds out there are three.

Alusion--a high-speed mention of famous person or event--just a mention, don't use description

Example of allusion:

She'd worn her cousin Amy's old shoes when she was younger, and she had vowed never again to wear another person's shoes. Yet here she was, sliding a cold navy croc on her foot. "It fits."

"Yes, Cinderella it does." He plopped on the bed beside her.

Why this works:  Cinderella is mentioned and then the action moves forward from there, it's not brought up again.

Try these three out on a chapter that you're working on and see if it makes a difference.

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New Release out from Diana Lesire Brandmeyer and Liz Tolsma!

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